fears, part 1

i have so many fears. i still want to make a dress about the deepest fears. sorting all these out seems difficult and yet like the most logical place to start. they seem to circle in around each other. and maybe me too.

maybe this frightened dress has lots of circles. maybe the fears have different colors. well actually, of course they have different colors. it would be silly to pretend they didn't. 

there are all the silly fears from childhood: of the dark, storm troopers, ghosts, thunder and lightening. flying plates and loud noises. 

there is the most obvious and oldest of fears, the fears about love. there are so many fears about love i could probably make a whole wardrobe of dresses. but i think instead i will keep them all in this one dress. she won't be hollow this one. she might need a big skirt with big pockets to hold them all.

today i'm scared of garrets. and the outside. i might need to be coaxed out of my room again.... it's a habit i'm trying to break.

post script: the photo above, i took when i moved into this room 2 years ago. the trees have grown past this shape and my view now is full of lush green leaves and vines. it was a fleeting heart . . . .